Generational abuse.

It’s been a weird sort of day. I was talking to my mom, and she was depressed because apparently her dad died when she was seventeen on new year’s eve. Go figure. That was news! Both of my grandfathers died, and both of my grandmothers remarried, before I was born. I’d always been glad thatContinue reading “Generational abuse.”

The new year!

I have a slight case of neoannophobia that never goes away until I’ve spent some time in the new year and have deemed it safe. However, things have improved greatly. This is the first year ever that I’m not terrified of January, February, and March. Neoannophobia aside, I used to have what I thought wasContinue reading “The new year!”

Hello, paranoia!

TRIGGER WARNING: PHYSICAL ABUSE WITH UNDERTONES OF SEXUAL ABUSE I’ve been unhappy for various reasons, and today I had some sort of paranoia attack. I don’t think it was entirely my fault, but ugh. It’s just that the feedback from Sonya’s writers group about my memoir seemed rather attacking. Here’s the part in question: InContinue reading “Hello, paranoia!”

Triggered! Again.

TRIGGER WARNING: References to physical abuse with language that could be considered triggering, but no graphic descriptions.  And she’s been triggered again, folks. I was helping my mom yesterday for the second day in a row, and she was gushing on and on about how my evil sister’s going to have to show me howContinue reading “Triggered! Again.”

Dreams of amnesia.

TRIGGER WARNING: PHYSICAL ABUSE (but nothing too graphic, I don’t think…) This is weird. I had a dream that I was googling a handful of search terms together: trauma, scary, memory, and amnesia. Amnesia. When I woke up, I was like, shut the front door. So then I just accepted it as fact that there wasContinue reading “Dreams of amnesia.”

Falling asleep now!

I have great news! Well, okay, it’s not like winning-the-lottery great, but it’s pretty great! It’s mid-January, and I haven’t felt remotely triggered by the physical abuse I suffered. It occurred to me that the EMDR I did last summer must’ve helped! Wow. FINALLY!!!! I always get triggered in winter. (Don’t I?) (Yeah, I thinkContinue reading “Falling asleep now!”

Meg’s guide to sanity.

TRIGGER WARNING: PHYSICAL ABUSE WITH SEXUAL OVERTONES I’m sort of in a funk, but mostly I’m just bored. I’ve been reading my EMDR book, but unfortunately, it doesn’t have a lot of how-to stuff in it. Or if it does, it’s hidden somewhere in the middle. Mostly it just seems to be case studies andContinue reading “Meg’s guide to sanity.”

The therapy’s going great!

TRIGGER WARNING: PHYSICAL ABUSE AND DISCUSSIONS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUALITY/FETISHES (but in the context of my life, since I’m obviously not interested in exploiting children…) So, I went to therapy yesterday. The therapist thinks that I have some form of early-childhood trauma from before the age of three. She  bases this on the fact that IContinue reading “The therapy’s going great!”

I’m just being too ambitious today! Geez.

TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE (but I’m not suicidal now–it’s in the past) So, I’m not sure which direction my life is headed in. I’ve bailed on my second novel of the year because I wasn’t feeling it. I haven’t sold any furniture, but I haven’t tried very hard. I get agitated when my furniture is imperfect, andContinue reading “I’m just being too ambitious today! Geez.”

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