The paranoid experience!

Ugh! I’m paranoid. I’ve been thinking as much for a few months now, maybe? I figured I’d blog about it. I also want to get more paranoia meds from Dr. Phlegm. Energetic pollution: when someone else’s energetic field pollutes mine. For example, if someone’s waiting in line behind me at the store. Energetic contamination: it’sContinue reading “The paranoid experience!”

Breakthrough!

I’ve had an epiphany. After discussing my issues with a lot of people, I’ve realized (or come to strongly suspect) that my anger issues are directly related to my mental illness(es), and that taking more medication could be helpful.  For one thing, that would make me feel so much better about myself, as if it’sContinue reading “Breakthrough!”

Can’t ever keep from falling apart…

Last night was dreadful. I’d spent the day exercising and eating canned foods. Late at night while I was in the bathroom, I heard someone acting hysterical on the other end of my dad’s landline phone. (He uses the speakerphone due to his near-total deafness.) I had a bad feeling when I exited the bathroom.Continue reading “Can’t ever keep from falling apart…”

The interview

This is depressing. I went to see the government-appointed psychiatrist today to be evaluated regarding my disabled status, and the guy was focused on asking me about depression and anxiety. His first question was, “How long has your depression been causing problems for you?” I get it. I do. Depression is the leading cause ofContinue reading “The interview”

Pass the happy pills!

Dear Amy: Almost 20 years ago when my husband and I were just 19 years old, he cheated on me. Twenty years on, I’m still having a hard time trusting him. Will I ever be able to trust him — or will I always feel this way? What can I do to start trusting him?Continue reading “Pass the happy pills!”

Rambling thoughts on abuse and healing.

I feel like I’ve been healing and purging myself of the past lately. And by “the past”, I mean the child abuse I experienced. My friend Ash pointed out to me earlier today that I’m too hard on myself, and that I don’t think I’m a good person. This is odd, yet true. I mean,Continue reading “Rambling thoughts on abuse and healing.”

I’M NOT SUICIDAL!!

[I’m ranting later about that therapist who accused me of being suicidal when I wasn’t. Nothing to worry about.] I’m on chapter 3 of my false memories book, and I really don’t want to read this chapter. Here’s why, it’s opening: So you want to read a book on memory but don’t want to hearContinue reading “I’M NOT SUICIDAL!!”

Paranoia triggered!

Having conversed with that guy yesterday, it has raised some issues. No clue why, but I guess because we were discussing horrible happenings, like his friend doing years in prison for a crime he didn’t commit. I’m not sure why, but my mind went back to 2005, when I became psychotic. My mom responded byContinue reading “Paranoia triggered!”

What is this normalcy she spoke of?

Yesterday, I had the mother of all mood swings. I think it was premenstrual. I was talking to Sonya, who’s been beta reading my new cozy mystery novel. Sonya’s the most brilliant beta reader out there. She sort of put her foot in her mouth, and it made me burst into tears. I asked herContinue reading “What is this normalcy she spoke of?”

I’m confused about the stigma.

I’m confused about the stigma of mental illness. I agree that people shouldn’t be stigmatized for being mentally ill, but all too often, there’s overlap with other issues. First of all, people who are grossly immature are written off as being mentally ill. This is problematic because: people shouldn’t dismissively be called mentally ill, andContinue reading “I’m confused about the stigma.”

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