Breathing in Tight Spaces

I was a total mess yesterday. Total meltdown mode, and I couldn’t cope with anything at all. I sobbed for hours, and there was snot and sticky stuff in my mouth. Total mess. I was in a bizarre sort of dissociated haze. Time passed in large increments during which I kept crying and not cryingContinue reading “Breathing in Tight Spaces”

Run with us.

Does anyone remember The Raccoons cartoon show? At the end of the program they always played the most beautiful theme music. Here’s the YouTube link, complete with a video. To the best of my knowledge, these lyrics are © Lisa Lougheed. When darkness falls, Leaving shadows in the night, Don’t be afraid, Wipe that fearContinue reading “Run with us.”

Going pretty darned well!

The intermittent fasting is going much better than expected! I’ve embraced the challenge of it. I think I’ve done it for three days now. The main problem is that I’m sick to my stomach because when I go off the fast, I eat disgusting unhealthy foods. I’m sure this is a temporary issue, and thatContinue reading “Going pretty darned well!”

Rambling thoughts on abuse and healing.

I feel like I’ve been healing and purging myself of the past lately. And by “the past”, I mean the child abuse I experienced. My friend Ash pointed out to me earlier today that I’m too hard on myself, and that I don’t think I’m a good person. This is odd, yet true. I mean,Continue reading “Rambling thoughts on abuse and healing.”

Paranoia triggered!

Having conversed with that guy yesterday, it has raised some issues. No clue why, but I guess because we were discussing horrible happenings, like his friend doing years in prison for a crime he didn’t commit. I’m not sure why, but my mind went back to 2005, when I became psychotic. My mom responded byContinue reading “Paranoia triggered!”

Darn that Oprah and her infernal book club!

Well, there goes my happy buzz. I just spoke with Mother on the phone. She’s been reading an Oprah Book Club book about some parents of twelve kids, half of whom got schizophrenia. “They blamed the parents,” she wailed. I could see where things were headed at this point, but there was no polite escape.Continue reading “Darn that Oprah and her infernal book club!”

I’m confused about the stigma.

I’m confused about the stigma of mental illness. I agree that people shouldn’t be stigmatized for being mentally ill, but all too often, there’s overlap with other issues. First of all, people who are grossly immature are written off as being mentally ill. This is problematic because: people shouldn’t dismissively be called mentally ill, andContinue reading “I’m confused about the stigma.”

The start of the breakdown.

I wound up chatting with Norton support yet again, this time accusing them of being scammers in several different ways. Then I had some sort of hysterical meltdown and told them how hurtful it was to see my blog, my diary, marked as a known dangerous web page. The guy apologized, which was nice. MostContinue reading “The start of the breakdown.”

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