Rambling thoughts on abuse and healing.

I feel like I’ve been healing and purging myself of the past lately. And by “the past”, I mean the child abuse I experienced. My friend Ash pointed out to me earlier today that I’m too hard on myself, and that I don’t think I’m a good person. This is odd, yet true. I mean,Continue reading “Rambling thoughts on abuse and healing.”

Paranoia triggered!

Having conversed with that guy yesterday, it has raised some issues. No clue why, but I guess because we were discussing horrible happenings, like his friend doing years in prison for a crime he didn’t commit. I’m not sure why, but my mind went back to 2005, when I became psychotic. My mom responded byContinue reading “Paranoia triggered!”

Darn that Oprah and her infernal book club!

Well, there goes my happy buzz. I just spoke with Mother on the phone. She’s been reading an Oprah Book Club book about some parents of twelve kids, half of whom got schizophrenia. “They blamed the parents,” she wailed. I could see where things were headed at this point, but there was no polite escape.Continue reading “Darn that Oprah and her infernal book club!”

I’m confused about the stigma.

I’m confused about the stigma of mental illness. I agree that people shouldn’t be stigmatized for being mentally ill, but all too often, there’s overlap with other issues. First of all, people who are grossly immature are written off as being mentally ill. This is problematic because: people shouldn’t dismissively be called mentally ill, andContinue reading “I’m confused about the stigma.”

The start of the breakdown.

I wound up chatting with Norton support yet again, this time accusing them of being scammers in several different ways. Then I had some sort of hysterical meltdown and told them how hurtful it was to see my blog, my diary, marked as a known dangerous web page. The guy apologized, which was nice. MostContinue reading “The start of the breakdown.”

Paranoia in the new world.

So, Mother wrote me what I hope is a good check, and I took it to the bank a few minutes ago. Each area where you could fill out the deposit/withdrawal paperwork had a thing of hand sanitizer. There were three or four more bottles of the stuff up at the teller counter. My problemContinue reading “Paranoia in the new world.”

Diagnoses upon diagnoses!

Dear Mesmerizing Meg: I’m embarrassed to say that I need to go over this on the internet with complete strangers, but I honestly don’t know what else to do. I recently just started getting help for severe mental health issues that I have had for my entire life. I’ve gone to therapy a few timesContinue reading “Diagnoses upon diagnoses!”

I’m a bad, bad person.

So, I’m having some low self-esteem due to my recent candy theft. I can no longer say in good conscience that I’d never steal (not counting stealing if you’re starving and need food). No, I stole brazenly and for no good reason whatsoever. Geez, Megz. Well, this will teach me to be less self-righteous. I’mContinue reading “I’m a bad, bad person.”

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