I should be on the payroll!

Today has been unpredictable and wild, but in a good way. It started with a recorded message from my psychiatrist, Dr. Phlegm. My dad had called him because my paranoia’s been extreme. Dr. Phlegm said I can take extra Seroquel until I return to my “baseline”. Apparently I have a baseline, whatever that means. ThenContinue reading “I should be on the payroll!”

Oh, you went there!

To give more info about my long and tormented relationship with LL Bean, my favorite clothing retailer, I once ordered my dad some men’s pyjamas for him. He was unhappy with the lack of elastic at the waist, so I cut into the waist and tried to insert elastic. Here’s the thing–I can barely sewContinue reading “Oh, you went there!”

I’m fit to be tied!

My dad and I walked to the fish fry at 6:45 to collect our food. I’d ordered online as per the online ordering instructions and paid with my dad’s credit card. When we got there, it was after dark. There was obviously a lot of activity in the side parking lot, but we dodged itContinue reading “I’m fit to be tied!”

Would it be easier to end a romantic relationship?

So, in news of the Meg, I got a credit card in the mail today that I never asked for. My dad opened it before I got up, because he’s in charge of my finances (I put him in charge), and he could probably tell it was a financial piece of mail. So after IContinue reading “Would it be easier to end a romantic relationship?”

Fun questions today!

Dear Mesmerizing Meg: I parked in a parking space labeled “secretary” at my daughter’s preschool today. As soon as I got my child out of the car, I heard someone say that this was her space because she was the school secretary. I immediately turned around and apologized. The school secretary was in the streetContinue reading “Fun questions today!”

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