Hell, yes.

Yeah, I’m braindead, but very¬† proud of myself. I think I started on this treadmill kick last Sunday. (It’s Saturday today, for reference, if you’re reading this in the future.) I spent one hour on the treadmill then, two on Monday, two on Tuesday, one on Wednesday (the day I spent four hours driving toContinue reading “Hell, yes.”

Get over it already!

It’s really strange, but I’ve noticed lately how often my relationship issues trigger my childhood abuse issues. They’re very, very interconnected. And the problem is that when the abuse issues get triggered, I freakin’ get mad at myself. Like,¬†really Meg, get over your trauma (and other bad things) already. And the problem is that I’mContinue reading “Get over it already!”

Medic, we have incoming!

Dear Annie: I found out a month ago that my wife has been sleeping with a plethora of men that she’s met on a dating app. Her profile says she’s single and that she also has a college degree, neither of which is true. She told me she is in love with another man. AfterContinue reading “Medic, we have incoming!”

I’ve got it! But I’m still angry.

I booked a talk session with my life coach, and I felt close to getting to the problem during our session, and then I lay in bed to take a nap, and it sort of hit me. I couldn’t understand why I was so upset about what happened, especially that particular part of it (whereContinue reading “I’ve got it! But I’m still angry.”

Paranoia attack at the fish fry!

It occurs to me that I have some thought pattern issues. I’ve never realized that because I associate negative cognitive schemas (bad thought patterns, which I learned about as a psych major) with depression. I’m not depressed, and it’s just never dawned on me that I have cognitive paranoia issues. I keep thinking about theContinue reading “Paranoia attack at the fish fry!”

I’m fit to be tied!

My dad and I walked to the fish fry at 6:45 to collect our food. I’d ordered online as per the online ordering instructions and paid with my dad’s credit card. When we got there, it was after dark. There was obviously a lot of activity in the side parking lot, but we dodged itContinue reading “I’m fit to be tied!”

I’m one of those kind, angry people. (Just run.)

Dear Annie: My mother separated from my father when I was 3. She left my father, who never came looking for us. She later married a wonderful man who loves me more than anything. When I was 15, a family member was able to get in touch with my biological father. The next day, heContinue reading “I’m one of those kind, angry people. (Just run.)”

More human, less alien.

I’m feeling more human today, and thank God. It’s been a horrible month. I’m giving careful consideration to going on the pill, because my hormones are driving me crazy. I’m not on my period right now. Rather, I’m ovulating. And you know what? It’s just as bad. Die, hormones, die! I woke up as myContinue reading “More human, less alien.”

Trying to reason through the weirdness.

I’ve been musing more about Stevil, my neighbor, who instilled in me this recurring relationship pattern of male friendship going badly awry when I ask to be more than friends. I’ve been wondering about the conversation that started it all: Why did he ask me if I’d been sexually abused? He said, “You seem toContinue reading “Trying to reason through the weirdness.”

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