No way to account for it!

So, I’ve been submitting 5,000 words of my memoir to Sonya’s writers group each week. Their feedback has been incredibly helpful. Oddly enough, I’ve turned it into a drinking game. Every time someone comments, Your mother did WHAT?! I drink some tequila. It’s almost comical. I’ve heard of people with overbearing mothers who grew up okay becauseContinue reading “No way to account for it!”

Shout-out to my fellow quadragenarians!

Dear Amy: My father has realized his memory is failing and is using this to whitewash his questionable parenting skills. Now I have no closure or recourse on events like his racist outburst of 2012 that led me to a very awkward Thanksgiving in a house full of people I did not know. My dadContinue reading “Shout-out to my fellow quadragenarians!”

The self-appointed vessel.

This book is profound. It’s very optimistic and compassionate. It discusses the dynamics of victims and perpetrators, and the need for such dynamics. I used to have deep thoughts about that when I was eight or nine. I decided I’d rather be a victim, which I was–my parents were abusive–than a perpetrator, because I’d hateContinue reading “The self-appointed vessel.”

What we have here is a failure to communicate.

Dear Annie: When I was a child, I had many chilling things happen to me. I barely remember some incidents, and they don’t seem to affect me now — well, other than the mental illness running through my entire body. Anyway, as a 47-year-old looking back, one thing still hurts me to the core andContinue reading “What we have here is a failure to communicate.”

It all sounds so sensible until you really think about it.

Dear Amy: My ex-husband was physically abusive. I left him when our daughter was an infant. We divorced, and I had sole custody. When my daughter was 13, I moved out of state. She chose to live with her father when I moved. After moving in with him, she rebuffed my attempts to maintain aContinue reading “It all sounds so sensible until you really think about it.”

And now I’m angry.

I just now emailed my mom. Please quit asking me questions about the past. If you feel guilty for being a bad parent, that shouldn’t be my problem, and I’ll never tell you what you want to hear (that you weren’t an abusive parent), so quit harassing me about it. I can’t help you withContinue reading “And now I’m angry.”

Trading in secrets.

Dear Amy: My adult sons are so estranged from my ex-husband that neither invited him to their weddings. While I still have difficult feelings toward my ex, I try to have some level of civil interaction with him. He often asks for updates as to what our sons are up to and how they areContinue reading “Trading in secrets.”

False advertisement!

The websites make it sound so harmless! Side effects may be mild and will only last a few days. Symptoms include [insert a long list of scary symptoms here], but don’t fret! Many people have no side effects, and it’s different for everyone.  I feel like death. I felt ill yesterday after getting Pfizer #2,Continue reading “False advertisement!”

Get over it already!

It’s really strange, but I’ve noticed lately how often my relationship issues trigger my childhood abuse issues. They’re very, very interconnected. And the problem is that when the abuse issues get triggered, I freakin’ get mad at myself. Like, really Meg, get over your trauma (and other bad things) already. And the problem is that I’mContinue reading “Get over it already!”

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