Generational abuse.

It’s been a weird sort of day. I was talking to my mom, and she was depressed because apparently her dad died when she was seventeen on new year’s eve. Go figure. That was news! Both of my grandfathers died, and both of my grandmothers remarried, before I was born. I’d always been glad thatContinue reading “Generational abuse.”

Violence!

DEAR ABBY: Occasionally when my husband goes running, I drop him off at the park while I do the grocery shopping. We agree to meet back at the drop-off spot in one hour. Occasionally, I’m late by maybe five minutes, and certainly no more than eight or nine. When this happens, my husband gets extremelyContinue reading “Violence!”

The new year!

I have a slight case of neoannophobia that never goes away until I’ve spent some time in the new year and have deemed it safe. However, things have improved greatly. This is the first year ever that I’m not terrified of January, February, and March. Neoannophobia aside, I used to have what I thought wasContinue reading “The new year!”

Hello, paranoia!

TRIGGER WARNING: PHYSICAL ABUSE WITH UNDERTONES OF SEXUAL ABUSE I’ve been unhappy for various reasons, and today I had some sort of paranoia attack. I don’t think it was entirely my fault, but ugh. It’s just that the feedback from Sonya’s writers group about my memoir seemed rather attacking. Here’s the part in question: InContinue reading “Hello, paranoia!”

No way to account for it!

So, I’ve been submitting 5,000 words of my memoir to Sonya’s writers group each week. Their feedback has been incredibly helpful. Oddly enough, I’ve turned it into a drinking game. Every time someone comments, Your mother did WHAT?! I drink some tequila. It’s almost comical. I’ve heard of people with overbearing mothers who grew up okay becauseContinue reading “No way to account for it!”

Shout-out to my fellow quadragenarians!

Dear Amy: My father has realized his memory is failing and is using this to whitewash his questionable parenting skills. Now I have no closure or recourse on events like his racist outburst of 2012 that led me to a very awkward Thanksgiving in a house full of people I did not know. My dadContinue reading “Shout-out to my fellow quadragenarians!”

The self-appointed vessel.

This book is profound. It’s very optimistic and compassionate. It discusses the dynamics of victims and perpetrators, and the need for such dynamics. I used to have deep thoughts about that when I was eight or nine. I decided I’d rather be a victim, which I was–my parents were abusive–than a perpetrator, because I’d hateContinue reading “The self-appointed vessel.”

What we have here is a failure to communicate.

Dear Annie: When I was a child, I had many chilling things happen to me. I barely remember some incidents, and they don’t seem to affect me now — well, other than the mental illness running through my entire body. Anyway, as a 47-year-old looking back, one thing still hurts me to the core andContinue reading “What we have here is a failure to communicate.”

It all sounds so sensible until you really think about it.

Dear Amy: My ex-husband was physically abusive. I left him when our daughter was an infant. We divorced, and I had sole custody. When my daughter was 13, I moved out of state. She chose to live with her father when I moved. After moving in with him, she rebuffed my attempts to maintain aContinue reading “It all sounds so sensible until you really think about it.”

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