It ripped through the night.


So, last night I fell asleep analyzing what went wrong, and then several hours later, I shrieked like a banshee. Sonya was still up—she keeps late hours—and heard it through her headset. When she told me this morning, I immediately remembered its happening. I don’t recall the nightmare, but I do recall thinking, uh oh, I hope I haven’t broken Prague’s strict noise rules. (And then I kept sleeping for a few hours.)

I slept dreadfully and am now headachy, eye-achy, and tense. I’m in a good enough mood, but physically, I feel like [bleep]. It’s after 9:30 AM here, and I’m going to get myself a coronavirus test at 3:00, so I’ve got to catch up on my rest before then. Then we might go souvenir shopping. I want to get my dad a special Czech alarm clock, the wind-up kind he uses, and they have some gothic ones here to choose from. Then I’m getting my mom some postcards, as per her request.

(If that seems like a financial disparity, that’s because it is. My dad struggles to make ends meet, whereas my mom is wealthy and has too much stuff; so I asked her if she wanted anything, and it was postcards. I can deliver!)

(My dad wanted a castle, but I think he’ll love a functioning alarm clock.)

Oh, so I was thinking about what went wrong with Georg. All the internet sites I’ve perused suggest that he was friend-zoning me and leading me on. Both of those things. I suspected the friend-zoning, which is why I asked him about it, like, are you sort of saying you just want to be friends? I understand if that’s the case.

Now, if he had just admitted it, I would’ve been crushed and might not have reacted well. I can’t sit here and deny it. However, since I value friendship so much, I would’ve struggled to hold onto our friendship. But he gaslit me and tried to act like I was crazy to ever think he was into me at all. He kept calling me confused. Mm-hmm. Not cool, and I’m not falling for it. I told him where he could shove my alleged confusion.

I realized upon falling asleep that he’s a bit stuck on himself. He thinks he has life figured out, and he sees himself as being deep and insightful. But he’s really not. I love discussing deep and philosophical things, but you can’t do it from the perspective of, I’ve got it all figured out, and you probably don’t. I think your outlook should be that the other person probably has it figured out about as much or as little as you do. Anything else is kind of… egotistical and braggadocio.

I think I’ll be fine, but like I said, I feel like [bleep] physically. I think it’s good that I’m going home in three days. I need to be back home. I think I’ll try to catch up on my rest now. Wish me luck! I need a nap like you wouldn’t believe.

3 thoughts on “It ripped through the night.

    1. Thank you!! Indeed, my physical health took a huge dive, and I ultimately took several sedatives, which Im’ allowed to do when things are going poorly. I rested for several hours and do indeed feel better now!! YAY!!

      Liked by 1 person

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