I hate my birthname.
My mentor has been trying to get me to be less, ahem, reactive to people who call me M-word. It’s like if someone says, “Am I speaking to [M-word] Kimball?” my reaction tends to be, “DIE!!!”
A photo of Mommie Dearest here would be good.
So I read an internet article about what to do if you hate your name. (Because the internet has resources for everything!) And some of the suggestions were obvious: use a nickname (I had my name legally changed to Meg, so I’ve already thought of that), change your name entirely, etc.
But one suggestion caught my attention: change the spelling of your name. And I had some weird moment of inner awareness.
My birthname is spelled M-E-G-H-A-N. I don’t like it. It seems smug, ingratiating, and ugly. When I was a kid I liked the six letters, one for each rainbow color, but that was about it. I liked the silent-H, because why not? But I don’t know.
I don’t care for M-E-G-A-N, either. It’s too trendy and “cool girl”. There was a girl in my class at school named Megan McCall, and she was all that: carried a purse, wore makeup, had a nice figure, hung out with the cool kids, you get the picture. I think she looked down on me with cool disdain.
Also, I feel that the M-E-G-A-N spelling isn’t balanced right with Kimball. I’m not sure why.
And then it occurred to me. I love M-E-G-G-Y-N! It’s cute, snuggly, fun, and playful, just like me. It’s like the name you’d give to a frisky puppy dog. Also, if you take off the N, you get Meggy.
Have I hated my name for the past nineteen years because of its spelling?! Meggyn is so cutes.
I have no idea what to do with this insight, but for starters, if anyone calls me M-word I’ll try to picture it in my mind as being the Meggyn spelling.
This is awesome and could be life-changing. I’m lucky to have such a wonderful mentor!