So I just spoke to my mom on the phone. She was apologetic about how I can’t come along to help her in Maine. She said she’d talked to my dad and decided it would be too stressful for me. She sounded so regretful that I was fully prepared to act relieved for reasons not pertaining to her, like because I don’t trust her ex-boyfriend, but the need didn’t arise.
I’m awful worried about her, though. She claims she’s going to drive her rental car to her cottage herself, even though there’s no evidence that she can still safely drive since her strokes, traumatic brain injuries, and coma. [Facepalm.] I urged her to find a driver from her Maine realtor, but the realtor hasn’t called her back yet. She assured me that her affairs are in order, and I accused her of being fatalistic. She said she was being realistic. (She’s always been darkly realistic. She can’t help herself.)
She ended the conversation by saying, “I’m so glad that you and I seem to be friends lately,” and I said, “Yeah, you’re the best mommy ever!”
Having her for a mom has been a wild ride, which I’ve been documenting in the memoir I’ve been writing. She means well but can be abusive. What I suspect is that she’s at war with herself in that regard. If/when there’s no reason for me to shove it in her face, I choose not to. So anyway, it was a really nice phone call. I’m going over to her condo later with dinner and cash for her flight and a book I bought her on eBay as per her request (You Can’t Go Home Again unabridged by Thomas Wolfe).
She also urged me to look up cruises that go along the New England coast, saying she wants to take me on one where they’ll dock at my holy land, the LL Bean in-person store, which I’ve never been to. (Meg loves herself some LL Bean.) I told her that sounded fun, and I’d look into it!!
So now I’ve got to go to Paul’s Fruit Market and the bank on her behalf. She’s also going to give me travel funds. I’m thinking that this needs to be emphasized later in my memoir that she’s very loving but conflicted. I’m writing it linearly, and I didn’t feel that way about her as a child, so the reader will have to go along for the ride.