From Fat to Free: Chapter 1

Okay, so I’m reading a new book about weight loss called From Fat to Free: How to End Your Toxic Relationship with Food by Elizabeth Lizberg. It has journaling questions for each chapter, so I thought, what the heck, I’ll blog them. There’s a companion Action Plan Journal which is rather expensive, but it turns out you can get it as a free gift as a PDF if you buy the From Fat to Free book. Basically, though, the Action Plan Journal is some questions and lots of lined pages. I’ve just read chapter 1.

1: FAT TO FREE ACTION PLAN

Find your why. Write the full story. It doesn’t have to be pretty; it just has to be true.

Having trouble getting started? Here are some questions you can answer.

  • What is your motivation to keep going?
  • Have you hit a rock-bottom moment that inspired you to make a change?
  • What reminder will help you keep going when it gets hard?

The truth can be hard to accept, but it’s easier when you identify and accept the emotions that are involved.

(c) Elizabeth Lizberg

The author shared her “why” that she latched onto to keep going. She also shared that there was a horrid health crisis in her family after she’d lost seventy pounds at long last, and she dealt with the crisis by eating, and she gained eight pounds in ten days.

She then braced herself for future challenges and somehow found techniques for staving off such occurrences. I’m impressed so far!

Hmm… What is my motivation? I’m not sure. The author is really motivated out of love for her daughter, but I don’t have any kids. I want to avoid health issues that can be caused or exacerbated by being overweight. I want to be able to enter into middle age without having all this extra weight! Like, I can improve my health so much. Fortunately (yet this is unfortunate for my motivation levels), I have no physical health issues.

Huh, that might not be true. I snore. Goodness. And my right knee is whacked out.

And I feel unattractive when I look in the mirror. I know I can do better, yet I become helpless in the presence of junk food. But that assumes I encounter junk food on accident. Yesterday I went to McDonald’s. And there were pastries.

What reminder will help me keep going when it gets hard? First of all, it’s always hard. Well, it’s difficult several times a day. Um… I don’t know what I can remind myself of. Like a belief, like the author’s telling herself that she doesn’t want her daughter to lose both parents to health issues? I’ve got nothing like that, and my health isn’t that poor. Hmm… I do need something to remind myself. Higher power? WWJD? (What would Jesus do?) Good grief. Come on, people. Jesus ate bread and drank wine. [Groan.]

Yeah, but Meg, He never ate chocolate cake or fast food. 

True, dat. In fact, I think Jesus may have been tempted by such things when he spent forty days in the desert, but Jesus was a master of will power. The rest of us? Not so much.

I think my credo should be empowering. Like, “I’ve got this!” while reaching for junk food. No… that has an implied double-meaning, like, I’ve got the junk food! Better rephrase. Hmm. Well, Frasier said, “This is Dr. Frasier Crane. If you can feel, I can heal.” Oh, gee. No.

Maybe that’s the problem. I don’t know what my motivation is. Huh. I’ve got nothing.

Well, gee, Meg. You DO want to lose weight. There must be a reason you’re interested in it. 

Okay, that makes sense. Yeah. I want to feel prettier and accomplished, because it’s a huge accomplishment to lose weight. I want to become a master of food. I want to take away the power that food has over me to make me feel better, or to give me a high, or to lure me away from healthy choices. I want to become a master of my addictive tendencies toward junk food.

Yes, but why?!

I don’t know! Uh, it’s a great accomplishment.

We’ve established that.

Uh… well, I want to be proud of myself.

Also established.

Um…

Face it, Meg. You don’t want to give up junk food. You can’t live without that high you get from it. You want to lose weight, yes, but you can’t walk away from that high. If you were to lose weight, you know you’d start gaining it back. You love food, Meg. You love how it affects your brain. You don’t even trust yourself to live without that high. You don’t trust yourself to stick to healthy foods. You don’t let yourself eat healthy for more than a few days, or even a few hours, because you have to keep that relationship with junk food established at any cost. You’re afraid of success. You’re afraid of what it would mean to have to maintain a lower weight. You’re terrified of never being able to eat “enjoyable” foods again. You know, the kinds with chemicals that probably kill lab rats dead. You’re unwilling to walk away from that. And by the way, this is why you never yoyo diet. You just never lose weight, period. 

Well, I’m clearly having issues. But I’m sure I can untangle them and find a solution. Oh, hell. No, I’m not. I’m screwed. I’m addicted to food, and I can’t seem to break it.

I think I should discuss this with my life coach. I could also ask Dr. Phlegm about weight loss meds.

In good news, do you all remember how hard I tried to go down on Seroquel earlier this year? Well, go figure. Starting four days ago, my street was repaired and the metal plates were removed from it. Every time a car drove over it, I heard THUNK-THUNK. All night. My room isn’t very soundproof. But as soon as that was finally repaired, I slept like a log and even overslept for the next three days. Then last night I self-corrected by taking less Seroquel (to avoid oversleeping) and I still slept until noon.

I’ve successfully gone down on Seroquel now, and I believe Seroquel contributes to my weight gain. I’m not sure if it was the plates. I can’t remember how long they’ve been on my street, but it’s been a few months now. It might also have to do with the time of year, meaning I’d need more Seroquel in wintertime. But that ain’t now! Woo hoo! Maybe I can lose weight by taking less Seroquel this summer. Not that I’m too hopeful. I’m mostly demoralized beyond belief.

Hmm. Mantra: You don’t need a high, Meg. You. Don’t. Need. A. High. 

But how will I survive or even be happy without one? Ohh!

I do think that should be my motivation, though, because it’s the root of the problem. I must be reacting to daily stressors by turning to junk food. So my motivation has to be the belief that I can survive without needing that, that I can be stressed without needing the high. I guess I’ll start with that. You don’t need a high, Meg.

6 thoughts on “From Fat to Free: Chapter 1

  1. Is there anything else that you find useful for self-soothing? It seems like most of your junk food binges involve going out and getting things, so I wonder if that behaviour could be something to work on, since it gives you more time to work with than if you spot your dad’s cookies and they’re right there. Regardless, I think that recognizing that junk food is the core issue is big, because it explains why other things haven’t worked.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your insight!! Yeah, I’ve been tossing over the idea of having cravings and sitting with them, where I’m like, “What on earth am I feeling that I have to medicate with food?!” If I can “torture” myself enough into doing that, it might shed some light! You and I might be onto something! I don’t have any alternative methods of self-soothing that I know of, but I ought to look into that, too! Sometimes I enjoy playing internet window shopping, where I fill my cart with stuff to buy (but don’t buy it unless or until I’ve given it serious thought, which shows way more restraint than eating, so that could be an option right there!).

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh, thanks!! But it’s harder with food! It feels like I’m powerless with food! Ugh!! But I’m not giving up!! Go Meg!!

        Like

  2. Jesus DID drink wine and eat bread! 🤣😭😏 I think the fact that you’re trying to be healthy and reading this book and making active changes is a positive foot forward. Half the battle is motivation, actually that’s probably most the battle lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. HA HA HA HA! We’ve called Jesus out! 😀

      Thanks so much for the vote of confidence! But I’ve been tackling this for years and getting nowhere! It’s like the bane of my existence. But I shall not give up, and I’ll march boldly forward! Go us!!

      Liked by 1 person

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