Well, you all are not going to believe this, but… let me back up. My good friend Ashley recently wrote a post about how manifestation is pseudo science and doesn’t exist, I guess meaning that we can’t find what we need by chance. She used the example of a purple-people eater, which I’m still hoping she’ll find one day. Let me find that post so I can reference it… Found it!
This is definitely one of those areas where I don’t mind disagreeing with people, because I’m accepting of any philosophical or spiritual or religious or practical thought, as long as it doesn’t involve devil worship or criminality, etc. For me, it’s all good if someone is an atheist, or Catholic, or spiritual but not religious, or pretty much anything. (I’m half-spiritual and half-Christian in a largely Episcopalian sense. You gotta love Episcopalians. They’re good people.)
But! I just manifested something. Woo hoo!
For months now–going back at least to last October, maybe further–I’ve wanted some computer speakers. See, I have headphones which I keep hauling up here after using them at the gym on the treadmill. I always bring them in from the car so they won’t get stolen, but it’s a hassle otherwise to have them perform double duty. My computer area is on the second floor. The headphones’ cord keeps getting twisted. You get the picture.
I haven’t wanted to spend money on speakers because I can’t think of a way to justify the expense. (This, even though I dropped $20 on Dominos pizza when I was massively stressed from the vaccine side effects several days ago. [Eyeroll.])
So I’ve been hoping for speakers for a long time, but unwilling to buy any. Then, last night while I was walking the doggie around the block, she wanted to go up the street behind us (I think it’s Harvard Drive… yeah, that’s it) so we went that way instead of coming up the closer alley. And lo and behold! I saw something in the road that looked intriguing: a square box of some sort. So I picked it up and carried it home.
It’s one of these bad boys! It must’ve fallen off someone’s bike! Based on today’s Amazon sale price, it’s a $40 or $50 speaker!
It works great! I set it up for bluetooth discovery, and I turned off the bass, which was making a screeching noise (I think because it’s meant to be heard outdoors on a bike). So now, with the bass off, the audio quality is wonderful. I was jamming all night. All I have to do is buy a cheap $5 charger for its battery. And it fits perfectly in the handle of my keyboard’s lap desk, which I have to use with a huge wrist support for ergonomic reasons.
(I’ve got three different cushy supports up here for: wrists at the keyboard, wrist at the mouse, and elbows on my chair’s arms. My whole joint and skeletal systems are unbelievably sensitive to stimuli.)
So, wow! Even if you doubt, maybe try to manifest something! You never, never know.
In other news, you all aren’t going to believe this, but I still feel as if I was vaccinated to death. I’ve quit doing anything with exertion beyond walking LuLu around the block. But I can just tell that my body’s off-kilter. Random achiness, muscle tension, etc. I’m going to keep forcing rest and try to get caught up on restful tasks, like reading my anger-management self-help books.
I was sleeping so soundly last night when LuLu woke me up. I’m not upset about it. I’m glad, because it enabled me to remember some very moving dreams I had. In the dreams, I made up with two people from my past: Stevil, who lives next door and rejected me romantically because I’m not pretty enough; and Nick, my childhood sweetheart who outgrew me in high school because I wasn’t cool enough. (Not pretty, not cool… but so magical! Let’s ride the rainbow, right?)
I’m sure the dreams had symbolic import. Well, they couldn’t have been literal, because as soon as I woke up, I was repulsed. No way will I ever work things out with them! You can’t make me!
But I think it meant symbolically that I’ve come to terms with aspects of myself, and that could be a beautiful thing. Stevil probably represents my passive-aggressive “You’re not good enough” side, and Nick probably represents my “You’re too childish and emotional” side, or something along those lines.
Indeed, I’ve been accepting of myself much moreso than ever lately. When I was falling asleep after the grocery store disaster a few nights ago, my thoughts were like this: That was disastrous, but I still have loads of value and worth as a person, despite these issues. No one’s perfect. I have amazing worth in other ways when I’m not telling off grocery-store personnel.
And I actually believed it, and I fell asleep soundly that night, too. Does that mean I’m not interested in fixing my anger issue? Absolutely not, and I’ve got nothing else to do today anyway, since I’m sidelined with this ridiculous vaccine reaction. (I thought I was feeling better yesterday, but shortly before bed, all the symptoms came back. Go figure.)
I hope everyone out there is having a great day!! Remember, try to manifest something! You never, never know!