I’m exhausted, and all I did today was run a few errands. (Granted, upon leaving the post office, I got lost and drove around town forever.)
I’ve been having some emotional problems lately, and then today things got worse, and I’ve been rendered unproductive because I’m conked.
When this happens, I tend to space out so I can process things on a deep level. I find this to be a very healing and therapeutic approach, but society looks down on laziness, so it doesn’t feel very virtuous.
My to-do list is growing longer and longer. There are a lot of fun items on the list. That’s how spaced out I am. I feel like I’ve been steamrollered.
And so I wonder, first of all, how do “normal” people get stuff done every day, like raising their kids, working full-time, and so forth? How, how, how, how, how? With me, I’m inconsistent. It works out in my life because I don’t have any kids, nor do I have a job. But that all pushes down on me and makes me feel like I’m not trying hard enough or doing enough, etc., etc.
I’m starting to realize that my inner voice is more critical than I ever knew. I wish I could believe that it’s okay to do nothing all day, if that’s what helps your brain process stuff.
It’s not problematic, my unproductivity. Nothing I’m doing in life has a deadline, and I’m usually self-motivated toward productive tasks. Who cares if I spend a few days zoned out?
Yeah, I’m just zoned. In good news, I picked up my new eyeglasses today, and so far they’re working out great, and I like them! I’d take a photo, but I’m having a bad hair day. I took a shower the night before last, but the only shampoo available was a small amount of my dad’s dandruff stuff. Now my hair is paying the price.
It’s just shy of 10:00 PM, so maybe I’ll just let the rest of the day be a write-off day and hope for things to improve by tomorrow. I often find healing by lying in bed and thinking deep thoughts, and this method brings me peace and understanding. But for the most part, I’m just out to lunch.