It’s not about the cake.

I’m beyond spaced out today. I struggled to awaken, and it felt like it took forever to surface from my dreamworld. I couldn’t grab onto anything, and I couldn’t even wake up enough to call LuLu to come over and help. (She’s a great therapy dog who often helps me wake up in the mornings.) I felt trapped, and my dreams were so vivid that I thought I was sleeping elsewhere, in Granny Franny’s house, even though part of me in my dream knew that the house is no longer hers, which breaks my heart. The land was sold and the profits split amongst her living children as heirs. I miss the house with a burning passion.

I finally surfaced just a little bit, but then I couldn’t get up. I was too drained. I didn’t feel compelled to get up for any sort of important reason, since I don’t judge myself for sleeping until noon, especially in wintertime, which begs for hybernation, but it was an uncomfortable feeling of being trapped between the waking world and the world of dreams.

I finally got up, but I’ve felt spaced out ever since and somewhat braindead. I tried to do my exercises on my home gym, but my mind was elsewhere, so I gave up. Maybe later today. Then I came up here to the computer and tried to work on my novel, but–same problem. I’ve written maybe three sentences, and that was a struggle.

So I finally thought, what the heck, I’ll blog. I could blog happily all day long.

I was disappointed a year ago when the local fish fries were canceled due to the developing pandemic. This year, they’re having them, but only as a drive-through. (And today’s was canceled due to snowy weather.) Pay online, pick up the food. I’m happy about that, but the really sad thing here is that the fish-fries setting is one place where I’m comfortable being social. That doesn’t happen often. I’m the unsociable trifecta: introverted, highly sensitive, and paranoid. [Eyeroll.] And yet here we have this one annual event (during each Friday in Lent) that I feel good at, and it’s not up and running as per usual.

Obviously I don’t want the coronavirus to spread, but I’d hoped the situation would’ve resolved itself already. Maybe next year, though.

It’s hard to describe why I love the fish fries so much, but maybe Catholics are my tribe. They’re friendly and family-oriented, and they enjoy gambling! I think that says it.

The food is great, and I love-love-love the cake wheel. For those of you unfamiliar, they spin a huge wheel with eighty numbers on it (in random order on the wheel). Prior to the spin, you put a dime on the table on the number(s) of your choice. (You can put down as many dimes as you wish and thus, to get technical, you could just buy a cake for $8.00 by covering the board. But where’s the fun in that?)

So then the spinner calls out the number. “Forty-two!” And you check your dimes on the table, and if you chose forty-two, then there’s uproarious applause. Everyone’s happy for you.

If I’m sitting at a table, eating with my dad, and someone wins, I burst into applause, even from my table. And I cheer. It’s not really about the cake. It’s more about the thrill of winning and then everyone being happy for you. Like, “YAY!! Oh boy!!” And then if you won, you’re allowed to go up onstage and pick any cake you want.

Families bring cakes, and the schoolchildren at the church’s private Catholic school bake cakes in class. Your chosen cake will tell you, for example, that it’s a lemon cake with chocolate icing made by the second-graders. But there are also store-bought cakes and boxes of Girl Scout cookies and packaged bakery cookies, so there’s really something for everyone. My personal favorite is funfetti cake. It has a rainbow confetti theme, both on the icing and baked into the cake.

Often, my dad and I go when they open at 4:00 or 4:30. The line’s not too long then, and the cafeteria’s not too crowded.

One thing fun about the cake wheel is that people of all ages participate. There are kids, but there are also adults. It’s not restricted to one age group. Apparently, the thrill of winning a cake isn’t age-related. My ridiculously critical mom is always asking me that. “Isn’t it just for kids?” And it’s like, nope, the adults enjoy playing for cake, too! I’m not sure she believes me, but it’s fact.

So my dad’ll keep meting out another dollar to me from his seat at the table (he eats slower than I do), and I’ll hand it across the table and get ten dimes in return, and I’ll keep trying to win a cake. On an average year, I win two cakes during Lent. And again, it’s not really about the cake. (They give way too much cake, and I usually eat a few pieces and then have my dad give the rest to his friends.) It’s the thrill of winning something. It feels good. Cake makes everyone happy.

So I’m a little blue today, but it’s nothing serious.

And the church is within easy walking distance from here, so my dad and I always just walk there. By the time of the last fish fry each year, spring has been ushered in.

I miss the fish fries deeply and am crushed that I can’t even get carryout tonight, although carryout is a far cry from the real experience. Sadness. My dad might take pity on me and take me out to eat, though. But still. Not that it’s a huge complaint. Obviously many people have suffered worse fates pertaining to the pandemic, so I’m not trying to be a whiner here.

Well, this may have helped me focus my tired brain today! I think I need to get out and about. My dad and I are walking the dog on the hour, and maybe I can ask him about dinner tonight. I hope everyone out there reading this is having a great day!! Let me know in the comments! πŸ™‚

7 thoughts on “It’s not about the cake.

  1. I’m impressed that the church is organized enough to sort out a pay online in advance drive-through system. If they’re on the ball enough for that I’m surprised they haven’t figured out how to do a virtual cake wheel too.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Well, they haven’t gotten the order and pay online thing arranged yet, which might be one reason why they canceled tonight! They said it’s forthcoming, though!! πŸ™‚ Oooh, a virtual cake wheel! Fun!!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I feel ya on being stuck between the worlds, ugh, I hate this feeling, and how it will often end up making you weirdly spacey for the rest of the day. Misha helps me with that a lot too.
    What a great pity with the fish fry! It sounds like a lot of fun and I wish they could it online somehow.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I knew you’d be able to relate to the sleeping issues! Great brains work alike!! πŸ™‚ I’m so glad we have our pets!!

      Oh, I bet you’d love the fish fries too!! πŸ™‚ In an ideal world, they’d be open, and you could come to one with me, because you’d live nearby. That would rock!! But if they were to do it online, I’d probably miss out! I haven’t mastered zoom yet, or anything similar, and my tech isn’t really geared toward it, I don’t think? But I need to catch up with the times! Goodness gracious.

      Liked by 1 person

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