My new goals

It’s occurred to me that I’m not really an unhealthy eater (although I certainly can be), but I’m not capable of dieting enough for weight loss. So I’ve been trying to watch what I eat while exercising myself to death.

After a few days of crunching numbers and seeing what’s possible, my goal is to burn 50,000 calories by midyear (July 4th). Here’s how I plan to do it: by going to the gym thrice a day and burning 95 calories each time.

95 calories ∗ 3 workouts = 285 calories

285 calories ∗ 175 days = 49,875 calories burned

I see I’m a bit shy of the mark, but I finally chose 95 calories because it’s all I can do without burning out. I could maybe go a little more, but I don’t want to risk quitting altogether.

I’ve given it a lot of thought, and I want this to be my whole focus all year. I’d love to say I have more exciting things going on in my life, but I don’t. I’m sort of glad. Weight loss demands my whole attention because my body and my mind have been resisting it to the point that I’ve chosen to force the issue.

Even on days that are disastrous from a weight loss perspective, like if I binge on massive junk food, I’ll still go to the gym. We’ll just see if it helps at all come midyear. I’ve started a master doc using an MS Word template because I’m terrible at spreadsheets:

Screenshot (325)

So, I burned 120 earlier today, as you can see from the chart, but it killed me. I knew that wouldn’t be sustainable, so I reworked the math. My original goal was, like, 70,000 calories. Not happening.

It’s handy that the gym’s right up the street. Earlier, while driving home, I encountered three bad drivers. One almost drove into me while making a left turn onto Bardstown that wound up causing him to drive in the wrong direction; a second ran the first red light and would’ve ran the second, but I blasted the horn and he stopped; and a third and fourth driver zipped past me and cut me off. They must’ve been going at least fifteen over.

People are upset with the choice of Louisville’s new police chief. I hope the woman who’s been chosen is smart enough to start handing out traffic tickets if nothing else. (People in my neighborhood run stop signs and red lights with wanton abandon.)

Ha, there we go, I just emailed her. I’ll let you all know if she emails back. The last police chief totally ignored my concerns while also being responsible for causing the problem and exacerbating it, so I’m glad his sorry [bleep] is gone.

I’m between writing projects, but I’m still trying to find an agent for my memoir. I got a brainstorm about that a few days ago. I’ve been struggling with the funding page of my proposal in which I’m supposed to tell an agent and publisher how I’ll help market my book. Then it occurred to me: get a famous person to endorse the book. I wrote previously about how I don’t know anyone famous like Stephen King, but then it occurred to me that I can email some famous people and tell them about the project.

The first famous person I contacted was Dr. Drew Pinsky. I love his advice and the work he does. I told him a little about the memoir and asked if he’d give me a blurb. I know the chances of hearing back are infinitessimal, but it can’t hurt to ask.

I’d ask Dr. Frasier Crane, but he’s fictional.

Wow! Looking over his social media, I bet he’ll get back to me one way or the other (I mean Dr. Drew, not Dr. Frasier Crane). If he says no, I’ll thank him and ask him to let me know if he changes his mind. Hey, you never know!

So, yeah, if I can get Dr. Drew on board, holy [bleep], I’ll be set.

I think it’ll be a good week. I’m expecting to get some packages in the mail from Emilia and also possibly from my mom. My mom said she’s sending me some Christmas presents that she took forever to get mailed. I’m not sure what she’s sending, but she keeps asking if I like something called moose munch(?), so… oh, okay. Googling it, the answer is a solid yes. [Nods firmly.]

Moose Munch Premium Popcorn Classic Caramel

My aunt and uncle sent us some fun stuff from Harry & David, and it included some of this, but I didn’t note on the label that it was called moose munch. I figured it was caramel corn, or something. Live and learn!

Also, it’s contest season! I’m still glad to be far, far removed from the NYC Midnight forum. I don’t know why, but I just don’t do forums. It always gets ugly. I’m so glad I have the blog universe, email, and facebook (which I know doesn’t work for everyone, but I’ve got it set up so it’s working for me these days, so yay!).

Oh, right, contest season. (My dad stopped by to complain about how there’s a light on in the basement, and it’s been on for three days, and I should really turn it off already.) This Wednesday, a great friend of mine and I get contest results for round 1 of the 250-word microfiction event. If he and/or I make it to the next round, it’s next weekend.

I’ve told this friend of mine that he and I need to up our games and play to the points. The judges score on character development (among other things), and I think I need to make sure I have more character development going on, especially in the context of 250 words. I’m going to google some articles about including character development in micro-, short-, and flash-fiction.

Because a week after round 2 of the microfiction happens, the short story event gets underway with round 1. Round 1 is ridiculously easy because it affords the writer eight whole days to write a story. You could work full-time, have five kids, live on a dairy farm, do volunteer work and still find time to write a story in eight days. It’s pretty much a freebie round. No time crunch, no pressure. (And I buckle under pressure. I almost never make it past the flash-fiction cut-throat round, for example.) I like it, because creativity flows in the absense of pressure.

I really like the story I wrote last year for round 1. Do you all remember it? It was about a little girl who brought home a stinky animal from school to care for over the weekend, and he was on a special diet of Skittles candy. He farted rainbows and fixed her disagreements with her stepdad. His owner was a magician, and after he fixed her problems, she passed him on to a little boy in her class at the animal’s suggestion; and when she grew up, she became a magician too and married the boy she grew up with. That story just really touched me. I think it was called “Taste the Rainbow”. I can’t imagine topping it this year, but I’m willing to try!

Due to my exercising (I guess), I feel completely rational so far this year. Wow! That’s amazing.

6 thoughts on “My new goals

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