Okay, so, that’s no longer true, since my dad eventually came walking home from dinner and heard me calling his name on a fell wind. “CODGERRR!”
He looked all around and couldn’t find me.
“I’M UP HERE!!”
He still couldn’t find me.
“UP HERE! LOOK UP!”
He found me.
“I’M TRAPPED UP HERE! YOU HAVE TO SAVE ME,” I explained.
“How’d you get trapped?”
My prepared answer, which I’d had lots of time to think up, was going to be, can you just rescue me first and ask questions later? But I decided to opt for simplicity. “THE WINDOW LATCHED BEHIND ME.”
That made him swear, which was ridiculous and unnecessary, but oh well. Two minutes later, I was rescued. I blame the kerfuffle on LuLu, my ninety-pound canine doggie friend. She keeps wanting to go out on the roof with me, even though the roof is no place for a pup. I’ve explained this to her, but… you can only gently discourage your pets. So when I went out there earlier, I pulled the window shut before she could bound upstairs. The joke was then on me.
While I was trapped out there, both LuLu and Mr. Kitty plastered their faces to the windowpanes and gave me these incredibly doleful expressions.
I was touched. It tempered my extreme irritation.
I’ve come to realize that I’m a food addict. I think I must be fighting an addiction to certain chemicals in food, and perhaps if I can name them, then I can quit eating them cold turkey. I ordered some self-help books on Amazon to peruse.
Offhand, not knowing much about which food ingredients are addictive, I’d wager that I’m not addicted to sugar. That’s good and might even mean I can keep eating it. I think the issue is something else in junk food: fat? carbs? starch? flour? salt? I don’t know. But if I keep sugar on the menu then I can eat sherbet and drink sprite if/when I ever get sick.
I don’t know what I’m addicted to, but it’s something in processed foods. (Well, duh, way to narrow it down, Meg.) [Eyeroll.] (Inner voice, you don’t have to be so sarcastic.) (Yes, I do.)
Hmm…. the weird thing is, though, that it can’t be flour. I went off gluten once for a year and didn’t lose any weight. I wasn’t trying to–I thought I had a gluten issue (and I do, sort of, but only if I overeat it, which is what I came to see), but that would imply that if I were to go off flour now, I also wouldn’t lose weight. So what is it that I need to go off of? Hmm… I don’t think it’s salt. If I were to avoid processed foods, salt alone from a salt shaker wouldn’t throw me off. At least, I don’t sense it would. Fat? Simple carbs? Starch? I need a Pringles cannister. Let me find one online, and maybe it will shed some light… Okay, I found the Pringles barbecue page here…
The first ingredient is dried potatoes. No surprise there, but I don’t think potatoes, as unhealthy as they are, are the issue. I often make sweet potato stirfry, and I don’t view it as being unhealthy, although I do grant that regular potatoes are loaded with starch. So, starch? Ah-hah. A quick google search is telling me that starch is addictive. Okay, so I’ve got an issue with carbs. The internet is telling me that starch is a type of carb.
I bet I know what I need to do. I need to quit eating anything processed that has carbs. From what I understand, the complex carbs found in actual clean foods (potatoes, corn, pasta, beans, rice, etc.) isn’t that bad for you. But maybe I shouldn’t eat them either, if I’m addicted to carbs. Hmm… no, the internet is telling me that we need carbs such as fruits, vegetables, etc. So what I’m thinking is that the addictive qualities are in processed (packaged) foods, like chips, crackers, etc.
But it’s not just carbs. There’s something in ice cream that I’m also addicted to, and I’m pretty sure it’s not the sugar. It feels like the fat is giving me a high. Let’s look at an ice cream label here… yeah, a pint of Ben & Jerry’s has around 60 grams of fat. That’s a lot. And a lot of the fat is saturated and trans fat, which I know are bad fats. (Like, good fats are found in nuts–I know that–the monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fats.)
Okay, so I’m addicted to fat (the bad kind of fat) and carbs (the bad kind of carbs). This is depressing, and it makes me feel helpless. I have to be really strict, because I can slide down a slippery slope to destruction in two minutes flat.
Oh! I have photos of the house.
I painted the dormer area. As you can see from the second photo, it looked wrong to have a strip of beige under the windows instead of the lovely green, so that’s why I went back out there today. (I took these photos yesterday.) We’re getting a whole new roof in a few days, and then it’ll look a million times better. I couldn’t paint the area to the left of the dormer due to being unable to access it. (There’s a hole over there, and the roof is too steep.) The rest looks great, though, I guess!!