Help! I’m trapped… on the roof.

Okay, so, that’s no longer true, since my dad eventually came walking home from dinner and heard me calling his name on a fell wind. “CODGERRR!”

He looked all around and couldn’t find me.

“I’M UP HERE!!”

He still couldn’t find me.

“UP HERE! LOOK UP!”

He found me.

“I’M TRAPPED UP HERE! YOU HAVE TO SAVE ME,” I explained.

“How’d you get trapped?”

My prepared answer, which I’d had lots of time to think up, was going to be, can you just rescue me first and ask questions later? But I decided to opt for simplicity. “THE WINDOW LATCHED BEHIND ME.”

That made him swear, which was ridiculous and unnecessary, but oh well. Two minutes later, I was rescued. I blame the kerfuffle on LuLu, my ninety-pound canine doggie friend. She keeps wanting to go out on the roof with me, even though the roof is no place for a pup. I’ve explained this to her, but… you can only gently discourage your pets. So when I went out there earlier, I pulled the window shut before she could bound upstairs. The joke was then on me.

While I was trapped out there, both LuLu and Mr. Kitty plastered their faces to the windowpanes and gave me these incredibly doleful expressions.

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I was touched. It tempered my extreme irritation.

**********

I’ve come to realize that I’m a food addict. I think I must be fighting an addiction to certain chemicals in food, and perhaps if I can name them, then I can quit eating them cold turkey. I ordered some self-help books on Amazon to peruse.

Offhand, not knowing much about which food ingredients are addictive, I’d wager that I’m not addicted to sugar. That’s good and might even mean I can keep eating it. I think the issue is something else in junk food: fat? carbs? starch? flour? salt? I don’t know. But if I keep sugar on the menu then I can eat sherbet and drink sprite if/when I ever get sick.

I don’t know what I’m addicted to, but it’s something in processed foods. (Well, duh, way to narrow it down, Meg.) [Eyeroll.] (Inner voice, you don’t have to be so sarcastic.) (Yes, I do.)

Hmm…. the weird thing is, though, that it can’t be flour. I went off gluten once for a year and didn’t lose any weight. I wasn’t trying to–I thought I had a gluten issue (and I do, sort of, but only if I overeat it, which is what I came to see), but that would imply that if I were to go off flour now, I also wouldn’t lose weight. So what is it that I need to go off of? Hmm… I don’t think it’s salt. If I were to avoid processed foods, salt alone from a salt shaker wouldn’t throw me off. At least, I don’t sense it would. Fat? Simple carbs? Starch? I need a Pringles cannister. Let me find one online, and maybe it will shed some light… Okay, I found the Pringles barbecue page here…

The first ingredient is dried potatoes. No surprise there, but I don’t think potatoes, as unhealthy as they are, are the issue. I often make sweet potato stirfry, and I don’t view it as being unhealthy, although I do grant that regular potatoes are loaded with starch. So, starch? Ah-hah. A quick google search is telling me that starch is addictive. Okay, so I’ve got an issue with carbs. The internet is telling me that starch is a type of carb.

I bet I know what I need to do. I need to quit eating anything processed that has carbs. From what I understand, the complex carbs found in actual clean foods (potatoes, corn, pasta, beans, rice, etc.) isn’t that bad for you. But maybe I shouldn’t eat them either, if I’m addicted to carbs. Hmm… no, the internet is telling me that we need carbs such as fruits, vegetables, etc. So what I’m thinking is that the addictive qualities are in processed (packaged) foods, like chips, crackers, etc.

But it’s not just carbs. There’s something in ice cream that I’m also addicted to, and I’m pretty sure it’s not the sugar. It feels like the fat is giving me a high. Let’s look at an ice cream label here… yeah, a pint of Ben & Jerry’s has around 60 grams of fat. That’s a lot. And a lot of the fat is saturated and trans fat, which I know are bad fats. (Like, good fats are found in nuts–I know that–the monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fats.)

Okay, so I’m addicted to fat (the bad kind of fat) and carbs (the bad kind of carbs). This is depressing, and it makes me feel helpless. I have to be really strict, because I can slide down a slippery slope to destruction in two minutes flat.

**********

Oh! I have photos of the house. DSC00038DSC00040

I painted the dormer area. As you can see from the second photo, it looked wrong to have a strip of beige under the windows instead of the lovely green, so that’s why I went back out there today. (I took these photos yesterday.) We’re getting a whole new roof in a few days, and then it’ll look a million times better. I couldn’t paint the area to the left of the dormer due to being unable to access it. (There’s a hole over there, and the roof is too steep.) The rest looks great, though, I guess!!

9 thoughts on “Help! I’m trapped… on the roof.

  1. Your line of reasoning to arrive at the conclusion around saturated fat and starch isn’t a logical one. It might be more useful to look at behaviours around eating rather trying to guess at specific ingredients.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. From a hard core food addict searching for a way out, it is super hard to figure out one or two ingredients that are problematic. If you consider just the science you can move forward as if it is sugar for sure and most likely any grain ground into flour. Once I eliminated these, cravings subsided tremendously. It is keeping them eliminated that is the issue.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much!! That’s what I was wondering about!! I’d imagine it’s hard to go without those all the time!! I think some of the self-help books I ordered follow your exact premise of never eating sugar or flour!! Hopefully I’ll read the books very closely!! If you have any tips for avoiding sugar and flour, please feel free to share!! I’d worry about accidentally ingesting something that has them, or that sort of thing; but maybe it’s also hard just for the will power angle? No clue. We might find out soon enough if I take the leap!

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      1. Meg, what books did you get? I would love more resources. I am currently reading The Obesity Code by Jason Fung. Will let you know if that is a helpful book!! To eliminate those two things works if you can keep them gone. And they are in everything. I do best when I stay simple, unprocessed and focus on actual bodily hunger (so hard).

        Liked by 1 person

      2. One of the books I ordered (they haven’t come yet) was… hold on… “Bright Line Eating”. I’m going to follow your blog!! Maybe you and I can offer each other support and insight!! YAY!! Oh, I hear ya about bodily hunger. I’ve had some good luck with iffing (intermittent fasting–that’s what I call it), so I haven’t decided yet whether or not to go sugar-free and flour-free, because you’re right–they’re in EVERYTHING, oh my!! I’m going to turn the idea over for a while and focus on the iffing in the meantime, because it takes me forever to read books, anyway. (Very slow reader.) Yeah, please stay in touch and let me know how you’re doing with all of it!! 🙂

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