I’ve been enjoying writing my memoirs. I think they might even be publishable, since there’s so much scandal and intrigue to my life. I’ve been writing about the early years when we lived in my first house from birth to age seven. That was a very nice period in my life, and writing about it has made me surprised to see how good my parents were at parenting. (No, I’m not making this up.)
(I’m really not.)
I wrote about the first breakdown of my mom’s that I can remember witnessing. I was all of four years old. She put a pizza in the oven with its rubber tray, which was supposed to be removed. The rubber melted, and she was like, “Why, why? Our lives are ruined.” And my dad was trying to console her and saying he could fix it once it cooled, or they could replace it, but she was having none of it. And then I realized that my memoirs could become a wonderful drinking game with that whole “our lives are ruined” line. Bottles up! Pass the liquor.
It’s hard to write about early life stuff because it’s only remembered in bits and pieces. So I’ve been creating a smorgasbord of tiny memories meant to hopefully create a cohesive whole of my then-reality. It’s been causing me to reflect in a good way. My psychic friend Ash thinks I need to “purge”. That works for me. But as long as my dad’s alive, I won’t be able to publish it, either officially or via self-publishing. He’s too nice a person now to let the truth of what he did come out in a book. Every time I tell him I’m writing my memoirs, he gets tense, and who can blame him?
But I want to give the whole picture. so there’s that.
In other news, I’m somewhat devastated that I can’t visit Sonya this year (due to coronavirus). I love traveling, and I love seeing Sonya and having fun with her. She has a delightful tendency to frolic around her apartment in her undies while singing, “LA LA LA LA LA!” It’s adorable. I guess you have to see it to appreciate the beauty of it. And it’s mindblowing to me that I can live with her. There are very few people in this world who I can live with, even for two weeks or thereabouts.
When I first visited in October 2018, I toyed with getting a cheap hotel room but decided to try my luck. I’m so glad I did! Staying with Sonya was a blast. It seems really funny to me now, but this mutual acquaintance of ours, Nate, rejected me romantically, and according to Sonya, she worked from home while I “slept it off”. I’d keep sitting up and talking to her for a few minutes, and I’d say heartbreaking things, and she’d listen supportively and nod, and then I’d fall back asleep. This lasted all day. I remember none of this, but I believe her, and I really find it funny in retrospect. I mean, I was probably jetlagged, but still. It’s funny.
That whole first trip was disastrous. My bladder was misbehaving, and my original main flight from my country (in Philadelphia, I believe) to Europe was canceled. But that seems so exciting in retrospect! Yeah, I was on the plane, and it hadn’t taken off due to a thunderstorm when a guy came back to where I was sitting. I was in the back near the flight attendants. The guy said, “Excuse me, is it normal for the plane to be leaking on my head?” And I silently cursed him, thinking, ugh, don’t tell them that! Now the plane will never take off.
Well, it turns out that the leak was coming from an overhead bin. No big deal. Someone had packed something liquid without shutting it properly. But the flight was still canceled due to the storm.
It was a fun adventure.
In other, other news, I haven’t lost any weight yet (that I know of) with the IF (intermittent fasting). I think I will lose weight at some future point, but at present, I don’t think my body’s entered the autophagy stage of eating its own fat yet. It can apparently take a month or so for your body to start doing that while fasting.
But what really blows my mind is how effective it is to “clean fast”, meaning no eating anything (obviously), but more importantly, no drinking anything flavored, even if it’s not naturally or artificially sweetened. See, the old me would’ve thought (quite correctly) that the calories in unflavored tea are negligible for weight gain or weight loss, that they won’t remotely kill your diet. All true. But what I didn’t know is that drinking them triggers your body’s hunger reflex. And when my hunger gets triggered, any will power I might have goes flying out the window. This is a major life hack. Whenever I see ads that say, “Do this ONE trick to change your life!”, I roll my eyes, like, yeah, right. But this one’s for real. If you clean-fast, you won’t trigger your body’s hunger. It’s amazing. And then you can just stay off the food until whenever you reopen your window. Amen.
I’m still struggling, though, with eating healthy. So far today, I’ve eaten some high-protein Kodiak waffles, but then I ate one-and-a-half Little Debbie packages. Ideally I can get to the gym and try to compensate for that on the treadmill. My remaining plan is to eat a huge salad later and then close the window. One concern is that that’s still a lot of calories. Even if you don’t count my love affair with Little Debbie, the waffles were 750 calories, and the salad might be 600 calories. Is weight loss possible here? I hope so, and I’m in it for the long haul, so we’ll find out.