I’ve really done it now! I emailed my former employers and asked them if I can come back to work.
Ashley Leia asked me recently why I want to go back to work for such horrible people. I guess I’m fairly convinced that there aren’t any better employers out there. It would take way more energy for me to start over someplace else, and it would probably wind up being not such a better environment.
Weird. If I were justifying staying in a bad relationship, that wouldn’t fly, would it?
I don’t know. Lately, I don’t feel very happy. I’m on my period. (Ahah! That would be it.) I’m just not happy. I feel embarrassed and self-conscious and awkward and disconnected and sort of overwhelmed by nothing. I haven’t even done anything today. I’ve been spaced out and distant inside my head. Things that could entertain me seem to be forgotten. I’m glad I’ll be writing a novella this weekend. I need a creative jump-start.
Oh, that reminds me. People on the forum don’t like my story. I like my story, but objectively, I dislike it. It was a hard weekend. All I had to do was score some number of points, but I suspect it’s going to get zero; and then I might not make it to the next round. 😦 You can get to the next round with 15 points (which is what I have so far), but it’s rare and hardly guaranteed.
I just don’t feel good about myself lately. I’m worried about everything, and I feel stupid, and I’m afraid I’ll never write anything good ever again. Yeah, that’s… hormonal, I’m sure.
God, I just feel so off. But that’s an improvement over my past two periods. Also, it’s what I’m going to be writing about this weekend. Meet my upcoming novella, everyone:
Period, End Of.
Ruby is a levelheaded, sensible, judgmental shrew who looks down her nose at any sort of emotional weakness. Crying at work? Get it together. She’s a no-nonsense supervisor who’s heard it all, and she doesn’t tolerate foolish sentiment. Not one little bit.
Ruby’s been on hormonal birth control since she was fourteen. The decision to go off it in order to conceive a child with her fiance seemed like a practical one, but she’s not prepared for the rush of hormones that accompanies the return of menstruation. After blowing up at her employer and impulsively quitting her job, she gets arrested for indecency. Things get worse when she can’t master tampons. In an effort to pick up the shattered pieces of her life, she takes her first nap since Kindergarten, leading her roommate to assume that Ruby’s got toxic shock syndrome.
Soon, her fiance has entered witness protection, her roommate is horrified, her former place of employment is aflame, and her mother is begging her to go back on the pill. Will life ever be the same?
Oh my gosh. I’m just, like, really demoralized, though. I mean, last year’s novella came in fourth out of four.
What are the judges looking for that I’m not giving?!
I know what my writing lacks. I’ve got a fever, and the only prescription is more periods. More periods! YES!
Oh, geez. Period, End Of. doesn’t stand a prayer.