So, online dating is draining. It feels, first of all, like a soulless endeavor. So shallow and probably geared toward sex. I have nothing against sex, but sex alone without connection and commitment and a deep and abiding love for each other is meaningless. Even though I automatically eliminate the men who admit to looking for a casual relationship, I suspect that most men who claim to be looking for a long-term relationship are lying. What they really want is sex, sex, sex.
That’s why I’d prefer to meet a man organically. I think there’s something about dating sites that’s as meaningless as porn.
I’ve started a few conversations with different men on the bumble site, and they’ve all rejected me. This is okay. I’ve always known I’m too much woman for most men to handle. It is what it is.
But I wish they wouldn’t automatically click that they like me in a way that I suspect they do for every woman, as if they’re waiting to see who likes them back and then rejecting the person (me). I suspect this because I can’t imagine that my message to them (“Hi! I hope you’re having a great day!”) could possibly be scaring them off. (Unless they only respond to sexual innuendos, in which case, I’ll definitely get rejected. Meg is always a lady first and foremost, and she’s a total class act. Well, except for when she’s busy propositioning other women’s husbands. Huh. I’m starting to feel ashamed of that!) 😀
On the other hand, the problem might be my profile. This is what I wrote about myself:
I’m “crazy”! If you have a problem with that, I understand! Also, I create drama! Again, if you have a problem with that, I understand. I think I just can’t buckle under the pressure to be crazy-free and drama-free, because it’s not how I roll. I’m real and genuine and that happens in real life! 🙂
Too much honesty, Meg, too much honesty. See, too many men say, “I don’t want any crazy women, and I don’t do drama.” (Well, just pass me by, because real life happens.)
Also, you don’t see any of these men being honest. What are the odds that that many men could enjoy the outdoors, drinking fine liquor, fishing, and listening to live music? Is there a problem in men’s brains that renders them incapable of original thought? As a writer, it damages my soul to see all these profiles where there’s no originality, no honesty or integrity of expression.
And my profile photo… kinda sweet and childish.
I’m screwed. In fact, I’m so screwed that I’m never going to get screwed. And that’s pretty screwed up.
I’ll probably give up on online dating soon. Engaging in it feels corrupting to my beautiful, childish soul.
Well, anyways, I’m still hard at work on decluttering our house, and I’ve made great strides. The only problem is that I need to find a place to shove everything that’s cluttering up the house into. (If my dad weren’t in the picture, a lot of it would go. I doubt he’ll let me get rid of this stuff.) We’ve accumulated too many things, particularly on the first floor, and it’s all too much. I told him I wanted to get rid of a bookcase (probably by storing it in the basement), and he had some sort of freakout. “No! No! I like having it there!”
“It’s backed up against another bookcase, and you can put your cigars onto the third bookcase on its other side.”
“No! No! I like looking at the pretty depression-era glass on it!”
“It’s cluttery, and the glass things keep getting covered in dust and cigar shavings,” I said.
“But… but… but… No! No!”
[Eyeroll.] I’ll move the furniture when he’s not home, and when he comes home, he’ll see how lovely the house looks with that space opened up. That’s generally how I do it.
He doesn’t travel much, if at all, but if he goes somewhere in the future, I might sneak into his room and tackle it. I’m never allowed to clean in there, and he’s a hoarder. Lord above, you have no idea. It’s a total mess! Oh, how badly I want to go in there in a Hazmat suit with some contractor-sized trash bags and disinfectant. Usually I just go in there to grab the landline phone or to steal his snacks. Shh.
My goal is to have the house as neat and tidy as possible for my upcoming writing projects. A tidy home promotes creativity and focus. I might also rearrange my bedroom furniture again for that same reason, but the organization needs to get done first. Also, I should do the rearranging closer to the upcoming events, because the novelty of rearranged furniture never lasts very long.
My 3-day novella already has a title: Period, End Of. Cute, eh? Also, last year’s 3-day novel is in a contest right now where the shortlist will be announced on September 1st, and I’m excited about that! YAY!
I’m so glad that I’ve been sane again lately. Unfortunately, my diet has gone to the dogs. I’m not sure what’s wrong, but I keep going to the local pastry shop and the local cafe for even more pastries. It’s deplorable. So I finally spent a small fortune on groceries on Amazon yesterday, and they’re coming soon. I got more Kodiak waffle mix and a new waffle iron. The old one took 25 minutes to use, and the new one should cook all the waffles at once. Can I afford it? No. Oh well.
I also bought some more Kodiak cups. They’re microwaveable cups that turn into brownies or muffins or cornbread. I love them!
And I got some peanut-butter crackers, the toasted kind, in bulk, to keep myself from going to the drug store late at night.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It seems as if I’m clinically incapable of sticking to a diet. It’s very hard for me. I’m pretty sure I’ve gained a lot of weight lately, but I’m afraid to weigh myself and find out. In good news, I’ve been going to the gym, and that was something I never did at all for years and years. My Planet Fitness membership is $10 a month, and the branch is a mile up the road. It’s open 24/7, and my treadmill has my name on it.
Well, I guess I’ll get back to the organizing. I hope everyone’s having a great day!