Spirituality is dead.

I’m about to reject my spiritual roots.

There’s a core spiritual belief that everything happens for a reason. We’re led to believe that more enlightened people agree with this, whereas idiots who haven’t thought it through think life happens randomly.


Life may or may not be completely random, but one thing everyone can agree on, in the lack of any compelling evidence to the contrary, is that we have free will. Our actions aren’t manipulated by a higher power. So if you rob a bank, you can’t blame God. You chose to rob the bank. And God, with his gift of free will, didn’t stop you.

Likewise, if you’re the victim of something, you also can’t blame God. Did God protect you? No, but He can’t. Free will isn’t only applied when it benefits us. It’s there all the time. Right now, I can do anything I want, whether it be loving or cruel, random or well thought out. (And what I choose to do is fart, but that’s for another blog post.)

And here’s the beauty of not blaming God: it also means not blaming ourselves. I have a lot of anger about how my parents treated me as a child. And on some level, I fear that I signed up for it before I was born; that I knew what my life would be like and agreed to experience it. And those scary thoughts relocate the blame from my parents onto me. I signed up for it! I chose it for higher learning! Therefore, the burden of guilt is on me, not my parents. 

If anyone’s wondering why I’m on this, I was stupid enough to join a spiritually oriented FB group. Someone posted about how much more enlightened we all are due to the trauma we’ve experienced, and things got out of hand.

Guy #1: Answer me one question, How enlightened would you be right now if all the traumatic experiences never happened to you? [That was the original post.] 

Meg: Quite a bit more so, I daresay!! Trauma has a way of really setting a person back in their enlightenment!!

Guy #1: Meg, funny, that’s where we differ, life has been a different teacher to me than you, but I guess that’s one thing of many that makes us different and many others no doubt.

Guy #2: Meg, trauma is what caused my Spiritual Awakening…. I lost my fiance very suddenly… She came to me afterwards and have her to thank for my Awakening. The things I have experienced since would blow your mind… But that’s me. 😊💙

Meg: The responsibility for trauma is solely on the perpetrator of said trauma, unless that’s not applicable [i.e., natural disasters, illness]. I refuse to feel more enlightened because my parents chose to abuse me. It was their choices, and those choices were bad, and I take no ownership nor personal burden for them. While it is sort of on me to pick up the pieces, it hasn’t enlightened me at all, unless you count my ability to see the dark side that we’re not supposed to see; the reality of human nature and how base it is.

Guy #2: Meg, we all have our roles to play in our current incarnation and challenges to overcome and hopefully master so we don’t have to keep coming back.

Guy #1: Guy #2, only those that are meant to see it shall see it.

Meg: So I deserved it? Maybe I’m glad your fiance died. You deserved it. Now go learn something from this! 😀 And Guy #1, let me come traumatize you right now. We’ll see how much you can learn and grow from it! 

Things only went downhill from there.

Today, I got this private message from Guy #2:

I don’t understand why you come into my group and be rude to people? We were truly trying to help you but you got it in your head that we were not… If you’re familiar with Dolores Cannon’s work then you would understand what we are talking about… I suggest you look up Dolores Cannon since you don’t know who she is… She theorizes that we all come to this planet to experience these horrible things that we have to experience in order for us to grow… so you chose all the bad things that we’re going to happen just like I chose all the bad things that we’re going to happen to me… That’s why I said we all had roles to play… But you come in and are hateful to other people for some reason I don’t understand. I’m going to assume this was just a misunderstanding and not report this to Facebook or take any further action.

He offended my intelligence. I’ve been well aware of the concept of our lives being planned out since I was college-aged, maybe even in high school. The whole concept underlies my paranoia and the Evil Spirits, who I lived in fear of for over six years. (The Evil Spirits made us suffer on purpose so we could grow stronger and overcome stuff.) I responded thusly:

Facebook would laugh in your face, and I already left your group. I refuse to blame myself for my parents’ abuse of me.

He said:

Nobody said to blame yourself.. You’re misunderstanding… You have a lot of anger on sorry to hear that.. I wish you all the best.

And I said, “Whatever,” and he blocked me. (YES! I got the last word.)

I wasn’t misunderstanding him at all. If I knew before my life that my parents would abuse me, and I still allowed myself to be born into this world, then it was my fault that they abused me. And don’t try arguing logic with the person who missed one lousy question on the logic and analysis portion of the Graduate Record Exam.

Maybe it wasn’t my fault, though. Suppose you know that if you enter a certain room, the person inside the room will throw a rock at you. Sensibility being what it is, you’d avoid entering the room. Right? So then why would anyone choose to be born into a life they knew was going to be hellish in some ways?

This whole New Age mindset that we choose our suffering before birth is offensive to me. Regardless of any knowledge of my life I may have had before I was born, my parents abused me of their own free will. I couldn’t do a thing to prevent it, and nor did I cause it. 

Even if God can predict what will happen, like if He knew upfront my parents would use their free will to abuse me, that doesn’t mean that I have some sort of damning karma that led me to deserve it, or that I needed to learn from it (which is stupid, because I’ve learned nothing–I was already the sort of child who believed no one should be treated that way). So, New Age types, what’s the leson? To not be angry? I’m entitled to my anger. It’s like if someone grabs three-hundred dollars from your hand and runs away. Are you going to be like, “Oh, did you need that money more than I did? Go with God!” Right.

And don’t get me started on the spiritual belief that people should release their anger. It’s a psychological response from the human brain. There are ways to lessen anger, I’m sure, in order to be happier, but let’s not say that I’m inferior or inadequate spiritually because I’m angry. That’s offensive. Anger is a natural reaction to being mistreated. And I own the anger! (Well, that probably goes without saying if you read those FB threads above.)

I do believe that we should learn from our experiences. If we go to the pharmacy and the pharmacist is mean, we should learn to avoid him, switch pharmacies, have someone else pick up our prescriptions, etc., etc. But the extrapolation of such learning to trauma situations takes the whole concept way too far. Maybe there’s nothing to be learned from trauma except that we can’t control others’ free will. That’s all it is. If I’m walking down the street and someone decides to shoot me, there’s nothing I can do about it. But does it reflect poorly on me because I have bad karma, or some such idiocy? Absolutely not.

Spirituality is dead.

10 thoughts on “Spirituality is dead.

    1. Oh, hey, thanks!! Yeah, I felt irate, but I feel better now ’cause I took a nap! Gee, I was so conked out. The hot weather has been hard to cope with. Yeah, you know, I’ve been thinking I should get more in touch with my half-Christian roots! I’m starting to see through the pitfalls of spirituality!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh, for sure. I promise not to join any groups! They’d hate me right off for not being fully Christian. I’ll just worship privately!! 🙂 It’s just that before today, I never realized that spirituality needs to remain private, too. That, or I don’t play well with others. (Or both?) 😀


  1. Meg my dear, you’re caught up in emotion. Natural and totally acceptable. What we learn from our experiences is where enlightenment comes in. Generational trauma is in our DNA, nobody’s fault, something’s just are. This is where acceptance comes in. It’s not saying ABC was ok it’s a place of saying it is what it is. Growth comes from seeing our part in situations and you certainly shouldn’t look at trauma caused as your fault. In other situations self forgiveness is necessary. I feel you allowed someone’s opinion to affect your own emotions and took it personally. That’s never a good idea my dear. I am your friend, from the outside looking in. Sometimes we get triggered by other people’s stuff but it’s because we are putting ourselves into their judgements. Have you ever heard the phrase, “stay in your own movie”? This is a good example of that. Reality is all an illusion anyways because each of us is perceiving our own reality based off of our life experiences. The only truth is in the present moment.
    I hope this makes some sense. All emotions are validated and I am never trying to talk anyone out of theirs. It’s understanding the root cause of them. Growing and learning from them. Love ya sis😘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well, yeah, I was looking for trouble. I felt miserable all day yesterday and couldn’t pinpoint why, and I needed an outlet, for sure. That guy’s post was so idiotic that I couldn’t resist. Thanks for saying it wasn’t my fault (the abuse). I get angry about it a lot because the abuse was forced on me in power-struggle scenarios meant to put me in my place. (No one should ever try to put me in my place.) But I do see what you mean about simply accepting that it is what it is and can’t be undone. In that context, it sounds a lot better than, “Hey, have you learned a lot from your trauma? If not, you’re inferior to me, loser!”

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Girlfriend, there is a reason why our paths crossed! Just this week my mother and I have had 2 big arguments over little things that triggered me from her abuse. Yes, I have learned from my trauma what is and isn’t mine to carry. As an empath I unfortunately carried too much of her own unhealed trauma and nonsense. It’s all in how you say something right, I completely understand how that would set you off.
        I also know better than to engage in my Mother’s bullshit. What she does is bully my father and I can’t stand it. I shouldn’t have said anything because I know I’m dealing with a narcissist Borderline who can’t see or take responsibility for her own actions. But there I went, bad move Maria. She fights dirty too with her threats of violence, disgusting words that no mother should ever say to their child no matter how old they are. All of this while my son and I are living here. It’s so sad but I do know better. I get so fed up and frustrated being here all the time and that day I snapped. Today was an unfortunate carry over from Monday because she expects an apology, can’t go on and just let things die. Again, I defended myself.
        So I completely get you and understand where you’re coming from. I’m getting an up close and personal reexamination of lessons I have learned. I keep my headphones on 90% of the time. It’s the energy that i feel that becomes suffocating. My skin feels like it’s boiling. Her toxic nature gets right under my skin.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh my goodness. I wish you could get out of that house!! With your son too!! That sounds dreadful! Like, for seriousness, I whine and complain a lot, but if I had to even visit my mom, much less live with her, it would be ungodly. I can’t imagine. And she’s bullying your dad, which of course is mean and she knows it pushes your buttons, because she loves undermining your sanity and composure! How horrible! That just sounds awful!! [I’m shaking my head right now.] If there’s anything I can do to help, please let me know!!


  2. hey , i just wanted to say spirituality doesn’t talk about god, its all about energies. and we are that energy. its about being better version of yourself. the concept of past karma( which is because we carry memories from past life though not conscious about it) is also true and yes it wasn’t your choice to be born in this family. and yes i can relate to you how much traumatic it is to be part of dysfunctional family and abusive parents.
    But deep down you know you have no other choice to let it go. be better than them. your parents had chance to be better but they didnt. there karma stays with them. but for your sake you need to come out of it. as the saying goes, anger is nothing but punishing yourself for somebody elses mistake. its cruel that you have to go throw all this, but it is also true that these experienes can make or mar a man. and it is in the hands of man what he makes of himself. i wish you all the strength and happiness.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s a beautiful comment, thank you!! I should explain that I’m (rather weirdly) half-spiritual and half-religious. I find truth and value in both!! But I totally agree with what you’re saying, and I’ve been trying my hardest to do those things! It’s a great path to follow, overcoming hardship! Thank you for commenting!!


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