So, I went back to the post office once I realized that I’d reversed The Bounty Hunter’s address. It wasn’t 1415 but 1514. Go figure. And the guy who works there was ONCE AGAIN obviously happy to see me, happier than most people ever are, okay? He was leaning toward me, all smiles, even though his coworker was stamping my package. (But this guy could stamp my package anytime, you hear me, ladies?)
It made me feel ridiculously good. So when I got home from that trip, he and I started talking through social media, and he explained a lot about his life to me. He fears close relationships because he’s been burned. Not necessarily in a romantic context, but in a way that has left him with a view that a simple life without complications is better than getting too close to anyone.
I told him that that’s fine; that he and I can just chat through social media; and that if he ever wants more, HE has to say so, and I’ll admire his bravery therein. (This is how I’m such a man magnet. I use words like “therein” in my everyday talk.)
So it might be a dead-end, but on the other hand, I do treasure friendship above all else, so maybe not…? He opened up about some experiences that had jaded him; he had a best friend who was falsely accused of murder, and he adamantly defended his friend online and became a horrible troll who went too far, as he put it. I tried to tell him that he was just showing loyalty, which is a great characteristic.
(Note to self: read the book he mentioned that was written by a man who’s convinced the guy’s guilty. Report back.)
I do feel bad for him, thinking about stuff like that happening. So after we spoke, I sent him an email outlying my experience with the friend I had years ago–the one who was pathologically self-absorbed. I concluded the email by saying, “Write back anytime, no pressure, or we can talk on FB again sometime.”
One thing I know about men is that when they tell you who they are, you have to hear them. If he’s telling me he can’t do relationships, then I must simply accept that. However, I believe he was talking about romance. He had no issue whatsoever with the concept of the two of us talking online. He doesn’t want to do anything in person, because after work is when he hides from the world. Fair enough.
I was trying hard to surmise whether he wants isolation or has chosen it due to a loss of faith in mankind, because I think that’s key, and he said he likes simplicity.
“No drama?” I asked.
“I’d love to tell you I’m drama-free,” I said, “but it would be the world’s biggest lie. Look at me! I can’t even say it with a straight face. See? Watch me try: ‘I’m drama free.’ 😀 😀 😀 ” Get down with your funny side, Meg.
If a new friendship comes from this, then it would be a blessing from God. Friendship is sacred to me.
He told me that Aunt Jen is his best friend who he was going to meet a while back, but then the coronavirus prevented her from traveling to the US. He added that for the most part, he’s a loner. I tried to pry out of him if he’s a loner by choice or by fear of getting hurt, but the jury’s out on that. From the way he talked, it sounded like he secretly wishes he could have relationships without getting hurt but doesn’t trust life enough to make it happen; he didn’t sound like someone who just genuinely wants to write the world off. More like he’s been hurt, which is what my Tarot-reading friend, Ash, surmised. Still, though, I’ll have to accept his boundaries, so I’ll try to never get him to do “in person” stuff with me unless, of course, he initiates it.
I tried to convince him that I had horrible friends for decades (no exaggeration), but that now I’m surrounded by wonderful friends; but I know how incredible that could seem to someone who’s not at that point. I myself never thought it was possible. Actually, before I had high-quality friends, I just used to believe that everyone out there was bad. [Shrug.] The fact that I have real friends now (shout-out!) is a massive blessing for which I couldn’t be more grateful.
So… should I delete all the previous blog posts about him, or should I pray that he never uncovers my blog? HA HA HA HA. All thoughts are welcome. 😀 I have no idea. I mean, I think I somehow insulted his cat’s honor, among other things. Sorry, Whiskers! Life’s a gas!