Okay, so… I can’t quit laughing. And nothing’s all that funny. I think I’m giddy. That, or I’m easily entertained. Or both! There are possibilities here.
I just got back from running some errands. The first was to the UPS store to drop off an Amazon return. I was at the back of the line when an employee asked me, speaking rather too quickly for my slow brain, and from all the way up at the register, if I needed a receipt. Like I had a clue? Is that code-speak for something? And why is she speaking to me when it’s not my turn? That’s morally wrong somehow, I know it is. And I don’t know how the check-out process at UPS works. I’d think they’d know if I need a receipt. Am I right?
So I just stared at her. She repeated her question twice, and I finally said, “I don’t know…?”
She approached me. “Do you need a receipt? I’m trying to help you.”
It’s good to know she comes in peace, but hmm, how to communicate with this odd woman. “Amazon return,” I uttered.
“Yes, I know. I’m just wondering if I can take it from you now, or if you insist upon receiving a receipt.”
Oh. Well, geez. “No.”
I rolled my eyes and got the hell out of there.
Next stop: the post office. I was not looking forward to this, but I stupidly told myself it couldn’t be any worse than my trip to the haphazardly fuctioning UPS store.
I went in, and the guy who I was into–you know, Whiskers’ owner–appeared to be hiding in the back. But it was unclear. I knew he was probably working there today–he was off last week, but presumably not this week–but he was nowhere in sight. His nice female coworker was manning the area alone.
So I went up and handed her my package. She was trying to locate the person’s name and address in the system, and it wasn’t coming up.
So then, he came in, and by golly, he gave me this huge, effusive hello. “HI, MEG!” Major wave. Total enthusiasm.
As odd as this will sound, it made me feel good. Giddy, even. So I said hello back and then got distracted by the female employee, who still couldn’t find evidence of my eBay buyer’s existence on her computer screen. (The buyer’s name was The Bounty Hunter. No first name, no last name. Just The Bounty Hunter. That alone was pretty darned funny. And he–or she?–had purchased a black hoodie.)
Awkwardness solved between me and this employee. But when I got in the car with the package in tow (after promising to double-check The Bounty Hunter’s address), I was overtaken by the giggles. In a good way. And I couldn’t help but wonder… did he have an awakening, in which his priorities got straightened out, and he realized what an idiot he’d been? Or was he just trying to smooth over any hurt feelings, although he pretty much went above and beyond if that was the goal? No clue. BUT if he were to resend me a social media friend request, I’d accept it with highly altered expectations.
I had this hilarious daydream of the two post office employees talking about me.
Him: So… Meg unfriended me.
Her: What? Don’t tell me that. What the hell did you do to her? You moron.
Him: I have no idea! I was my usual charming self, and so was Whiskers.
Her [with scary voice]: You’d better make it right. Meg deserves better.
Too funny for words. I’m laughing out loud right now. If she were to ask me about it (which I doubt she’d do), I’d simply say, “Oh, he totally had it coming.” And then I’d nod effusively.
(I’ve fallen victim to workplace gossip in the past, so I wouldn’t say anything more than that.)
In other news, I did fifteen minutes on the treadmill last night at around 10:00 PM. I was going 2.3 MPH at a 15º incline. (Ooh, nice, I found a character for “degree”!) I’ve never slept more soundly. In fact, it was ages before I was able to crawl out of bed. I bet I can go down on Seroquel from 300 mg to 200 mg if I keep exercising myself into exhaustion like that. (Seroquel primarily affects how long and well I sleep; for mania purposes, I only need to take 25 mg or more, and I’ll be fine.)
I bet I can lose weight this way, too! Go me!! The pusher has been having headphones with digital music to listen to. It keeps me moving and kills the time. Since we live in an age where you can buy one tune for $1.29 instead of having to pay for the whole CD, God bless, is all I can say. And all the tunes are right there on your little device. How nice!