I’ve reconsidered my position on the guy who works at the post office. I feel as if I was way too harsh in calling him pathetic and writing him off. I think I was just trying to come to terms with the situation. I’m going to stay openminded to any possibility, but obviously he’d have to be into me, which has yet to be seen. But he does seem to be a kindhearted and gentle person, which to me is quality #1 that any significant other should have. I regret having been so quick to judge due to my overwhelmed state.
I’ve been exercising! Can you believe it? My gym finally reopened, and I’ve been doing my ten- or eleven-minute treadmill routine. I go at 2.5 mph at a 15-degree uphill incline. What has really helped me stay with it is dragging my cheap iPod out of storage and loading it with tunes. The music moves me both physically and emotionally.
But honestly, it feels like torture. It cramps up my body and leaves me for dead. (Gee, Meg, don’t overdramatize it, or anything.) HA HA! My goal is to do it every day once or twice. (The gym is a mile straight up Bardstown Road, which I live just off of.) Regarding the cramps, today I made a point to stretch first and add on a slow and boring warmup minute, and now I feel less achey.
I’m also downright manic. I got so much done today that it’s incredible. I went to Home Depot and bought some lumber for a project, went to the bookstore with my dad (I didn’t get anything there), did a legal brief for him with text conversion and editing, went to the gym once, worked on my as-yet-untitled novel, and cleaned my huge bedroom. There was vacuuming, I think; but honestly, it’s all a blur.
Despite the fact that I’m bipolar by diagnosis, I’m not concerned about my manic energy levels. It’s 11:00 PM now and I’m forcing rest. Soon I’ll go to bed and be out like a light. As long as I take a modicum of Seroquel (25 mg or more–and I take it with religious fervor), my mania never extends beyond occasional days that are super-productive.
I might be just a bit worn out tomorrow, though.
What I love about my life is that I can live it at my own pace. If I have the energy to work on a creative project, I’m able to. If I don’t have the energy, I can rest or mess around online.
I started this earlier, and now I’m falling asleep! At long last! I’ll be out like a light! Conk.