I’m feeling quite morose. I unfriended two people on social media. They’re best friends with each other. One seemingly dropped me like a hot potato and never came back, and the second ignored a funny comment I made on her post but found the time to make a laughy-face at everyone else’s comments (made both before and after mine). It was all making me feel inadequate, and I HATE feeling inadequate. Hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.
Oh, by the way. I’m psychic. This is how I’m comforting myself.
No, really. I sold some old magazines on eBay today. YAY! And I had a hard time dragging myself to the post office. Usually, I love going. But today, there was a voice in my head saying, “Oh, put it off ’til tomorrow. It’s no huge deal.” Did I listen? No. Will I ever learn to listen? No.
So I showed up at the post office, crampy and generally dissatisfied with life, and, as it turns out, their debit/credit card reading machine was down, and they were only taking cash. I had no cash.
It gets worse. This thrust me, the only customer around, into forced conversation with the very nice man and woman who work there. I like them both. But I’m not a social creature. They asked if I’m enjoying the social distancing and said they imagined I’m having a great time, since I’m a novelist. I agreed with that. But then things got awkward, someone else showed up, and I fled. It would’ve been better if I’d just stayed home. I didn’t get the package mailed.
And my intuition was telling me that! UGH.
But I am psychic. One of the friends who’s no longer a friend–I once did a Tarot reading for her and found out about her strained relationship with her husband. She confirmed it all.
But being psychic isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. It’s not magical to the point that you just know, like, everything. It just means that you can tap into it, if you feel like doing so; and/or that occasionally you’ll get really good hunches about things, like not going to the post office.
I had another psychic premonition once in which I had this weird image of my mom’s boyfriend breaking up with her. You can probably see where this story is headed. I was on the phone with her not an hour later. She was disconsolate. They’re back together now.
I just feel sad. I know it’s not my fault. I kept trying to be a good friend to them, but they didn’t put in any effort. They don’t value friendship like I do.
Sometimes I try too hard. Friendship is everything to me. On the other hand, I’m also psychic, so there’s that. I’m feeling quite glum. I’m sure I’ll feel better later. Well, I took some Ibuprofen for the cramps. Probably more than I needed, and it’ll make me feel delightfully wacky soon.