Dear Mesmerizing Meg: Could I have handled this better? My husband and I are taking my son on a small weekend trip for his twenty-first birthday. My Mom came over the other day and put a check in my purse for me to find. It was a little contribution to the expenses of the trip that she wanted to surprise me with. The next day I cleaned out my purse and didn’t see the check. I must have thrown it away. Today she asked me if I got the check (it’s been several days and I hadn’t acknowledged it). I told her no and we determined that I must have accidentally thrown it away. I apologized over and over. I feel like an idiot. She seems irked at me. “I guess that’s what I get for trying to surprise you!” And has not offered to give me another check. I don’t NEED the check, I booked the trip based on what I could afford, but is it odd that she’s not offering to write another check? It’s not like it was cash that I accidentally threw away.
Kind querent: Holy wow. Can you do a favor for me and surprise your mother sometime soon with a whoopee cushion? I’d like that. Thanks.
Dear Mesmerizing Meg: Intrusive thoughts? I’m having really bad thoughts about people. Every time I’m having a conversation with someone, including people that I love, my brain says something horrible about them such as “they’re fat,” or, “they’re ugly.” I keep saying horrible things about people in my head, but I don’t mean to. Why won’t these thoughts go away? They’re making me feel like an absolutely terrible person. I feel evil and I don’t know what to do. I would never say these things out loud but they just come into my head. I seriously need help. I hate myself so much for this!
Kind querent: You’re not a terrible person! You’re having some obsessive thoughts. It sounds like Pure O (which is OCD without the compulsions–obsessions only). I’d recommend seeing a psychiatrist about it. A cognitive therapist might also be able to help. Good luck!
Dear Mesmerizing Meg: PLEASE HELP ME INTERPRET THIS – I HAVE ASPERGERS AND STRUGGLE TO. I said to someone on my Facebook that ‘I have no friends to talk to anymore’ when I was feeling a little down. ‘Tom you can always talk to me, and I don’t know of anyone who hates you; you’re such a lovely person. I think you just need to gain perspective on the situation you feel you’re in. Are you at home at the moment? Might be best to get some sleep and think about it tomorrow’ Tl;dr – Do you think that the person who said this to me is my friend?
Kind querent: Yes, I’d say he/she is a friend or a mentor, but he/she is implying that you’re being a bit of a whiner. (I’m not saying I agree with that; I’m just saying it was the message I got from his/her words.) So yes, it’s a friend, but not one who I’d confide in about my problems.