Dear Mesmerizing Meg: So I got a phone recently and I don’t know if it’s the problem of the situation I’m snot to describe to you. I am an A student. Recently I failed two tests. It’s very hard for me to retain things in history and science though, which is not new. It’s been happening for years but I still do well. Now I don’t want to study anything. I just want to sing and rap and do my art all day and watch and do things that make me happy, which is also not new. But it seems that my mom has to talk to me more about it now. I stress and cry and feel lost and not in the right mind when I’m at school especially because of the people. What’s happening? What should I do?
Kind querent: I’d suggest that you tell your mom and/or your teachers that you need a tutor. Your teachers can probably arrange for someone in your class who’s better at science and history (my hard subjects too) to help you study and learn the material. I’d also recommend that you only use your phone at special times, like late at night after you’ve done all your studying. It seems to be distracting you.
Dear Mesmerizing Meg: My girlfriend was prescribed on antidepressants due to a breakdown that she’s having, something triggered her flashbacks of ptsd due to her year-long mistreatment. It’s not easy what she went through, not your typical not requited teenage crush. The doctor gave her pills, I checked and they had many side effects and I don’t want her to take them. She told me if they were so bad he wouldn’t have prescribed them. I said, “He didn’t even heard you, he didn’t say anything. He just couldn’t care less about what you went through, his solutions are stupid pills who will make you sleep.” I was holding her hand while she was crying telling him what happened but he was colder than ice. She will always have my support but not for this. I want to throw those stupid pills in the toilet.
I appreciate how much you care about your girlfriend. She’s lucky to have you in her life, and I hope you can continue to be supportive of what she’s experienced. But a few things to know–what she went through has left her in a state of dysfunction that could be greatly helped by medication. Try to picture experiencing something hellish and unthinkable. Now imagine it playing in your head again and again and again and again… forever. It’s not a pleasant feeling. The pills are meant to help your girlfriend feel happier.
And don’t freak over the side effects! All drugs have side effects, but with most people, only a few side effects occur. I take four psych meds, and I have minimal side effects. The side effects are more like warnings of what can occur rather than statements of what will occur.
Please believe me that her doctor does, possibly, care about her. With trauma, there’s no one “easy fix” although there are options and things you can do. And right now, without those pills, her breakdown could get worse and leave her with worse mental health for the whole rest of her life. It does sometimes work that way. I’m not trying to scare you, but if she was prescribed the pills, then I’d say there’s a 99% chance that they’ll be helpful. And if they aren’t, the doctor will check in and adjust the prescription or the dosage.
Thank you for caring so much about your girlfriend! I’m glad she has you!